Dusk
by hella whitlock
Summary: Jasper leaves the Cullens, to forge his own path in the world. He had gone from a bloodthirsty killer, to a high school student. But who was Jasper Whitlock really? Takes place after New Moon. Canon Couples Minus J/B.
1. Ain't No Sunshine

When Bella Swan left our collective lives, it was like the sunshine had drained from the sky. Rosalie and Emmett fought more than ever before, without the requisite make ups that drove us all out of the house. Emmett tried, we all knew he was trying. His jokes would fall on deaf ears, and he felt useless. That was his thing, making us laugh in terse situations. Bringing our spirits up when we were down. Emmett doesn't joke anymore. His dimpled guffaws no longer grace the Cullen household. Rosalie spends all of her time in the garage, when she isn't charading through another year of high school. Esme is throwing herself into her interior design business. She, like Carlisle, is hardly ever home. Her family was falling apart, just like it had in her human life. Melancholy clung to her like an expensive perfume. Carlisle is always at the hospital, pulling double shifts when he can pull it off without losing the human pretense. Alice… Alice left to keep Edward company, and Edward... Edward left to do whatever it was he was doing. I suspected it was tracking Victoria, but he was a terrible tracker. I understood why Alice chose to go with her adopted brother than stay here with me. She would never voice it, bless her heart, but I knew her true feelings. She loved me, but she wasn't in love with me, so she left to make sure her brother didn't do anything reckless.

When I departed from the Cullen coven, it was months after we left Forks. Months still, after Alice and Edward left. There was no other choice for me. I didn't belong with the Cullens when I was with Alice, and I certainly didn't belong when I wasn't. Drinking animal blood was difficult for me. Suppressing over a century of bloodlust wasn't something that came easily. Neither did suppressing the basic of vampire impulses. If I hadn't of spent so much time being the Cullen's weak link, I wouldn't have snapped at Bella. If I had gotten to hunt that morning instead of spending it helping Alice set up decorations… If I this and if I that. I couldn't keep what if-ing all of my decisions. I didn't need to presume I was making the right choice. I knew it. I could feel it in my bones, the second I felt the dry Texas heat on my face, when I felt the wind blow through my tangled blonde locks. I was home.

I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face at the sight of my brother, Peter waiting for me outside his house on the outskirts of Odessa. I haven't been back to Texas since he came back for me and helped me escape Maria. It was entirely too long to leave my roots behind. I had never been to Odessa before, but this Texas was not the Texas I had left over 60 years ago.

"Well lookie here, if it isn't Major Jasper Whitlock himself, gracing us with his long overdue presence." He chuckled at my expense. His wife Charlotte came running out of the house as he spoke and engulfed me in a crushing hug. She pulled away to give Peter his opportunity for a man hug. Already I had seen more life than I had in the last several months with the Cullens. I looked at my brother and his wife appraisingly, noticing how they didn't hide their scars like I had been doing. I felt a flash of guilt, not for hiding my battle scars from The Southern Vampire Wars, but for inflicting so many on the two people closest to me.

"I know, I've been remiss in visiting with my family." I didn't have to say more as I followed them inside. They knew I hadn't visited them often because Alice felt uncomfortable around them, and didn't trust me enough to visit on my own. They probably also knew that Alice fucking hated them. She couldn't see past their red eyes and 'casual disregard for human life'. I wouldn't say it to her face, but I thought she was just being over-sensitive because she didn't remember her human years at all.

"You're damn right about that, brother." We had gathered in the living room. It would have been awkward, except for how well I knew the two vampires sitting across from me. I had created both of them, raised them to be brilliant fighters, and when the time had come, I had released them from the destruction I had brought them into this world for. Peter had told me never to apologize for it, it brought him to his mate. And besides, he had once said, being a vampire suited him far more than being a human ever had.

"I don't know what to do with my life." I blurted out. "Before I had purpose. I trained newborns, directed them in battle, destroyed them when they were no longer of use. Then I followed Alice around, repeating high school over and over for fifty years. I don't know any better. What do I do with myself, now that my use has waned?" I usually wasn't so outspoken or emotional, especially not around the Cullens, but Charlotte and Peter were my family. They saw me at my worst, brought me to my best. I stared at the blonde vampires across from me, the two who knew me so well, and knew what I needed for myself before I did. The two who left Maria's tyranny… And came back for me.

"First of all, your 'use' hasn't waned." Peter rolled his eyes, using finger quotations to emphasize. "Pretending to be human is the exact polar opposite of taking human lives to build a vampire army. You went from one extreme to another. Have you ever just thought of being yourself? I know you were always a Cullen, a Hale, or a McCarty when you were with them, but have you ever tried just being Jasper Whitlock? Not The Major, not Jazz, just Jasper." What Peter was saying actually made a lot of sense. I had only spent a few months with Char and Peter after I left Maria, and even then only a few more on my own as a nomad before I walked into that bar and found Alice. She had seemed so sure of the path I should take and that we were meant to be on that path together. Now she was positive her path was taking her with Edward, to watch out for him. She hadn't said anything about where my path would lead, just that it was split from her own. I had spent so long with somebody directing me, telling me where to go, what to do, how to dress, act. Peter was right. I should stop over-thinking everything and just be myself.

"As always Peter, you're absolutely right." I concluded.

"You do, however, have one choice you have to make relatively soon." He hedged. I just stared at him and waited for him to continue. "Are you going to continue to drink from animals, or are you going to go back to the human diet?" He just blurted out. I haven't even thought about it.

"Animals taste like shit, Peter." I stated bluntly.


	2. Shoulda Been A Cowboy

Should've Been A Cowboy

I relished in the fact that I was home in Texas. I spent hours just laying in the warm Texan sun. Vague memories of doing this as a human filtered through my mind, like the sun shafts fell through my fingers as I raised them to the sky. Watching my skin sparkle, the light shining off of the scars all along my arms, I had to wonder if we shone like stars just to counteract how deadly we were. My mind was constantly moving in several directions, and I kept bouncing from topic to topic in avoidance of the one that made my dead heart clench.

Alice, as much as I knew that our life together was temporary, it still stung a little. Sixty one years, and she left without looking back. I suppose I should be happy that she told me up front that it would be nothing more, that we would find our mates and move on… But in the back of my mind, I always hoped that we could be something more. As Peter had so delicately said, I had traded one dictator for another, and I supposed he was right. Whereas Maria was a literally power hungry leader, Alice dominated every aspect of my life. Maria would have never told me what clothes to wear, it was beneath her, and she didn't care. Alice always had me wear long shirts, with collars that could hide the majority of my scars. She said they would make the Cullen's uncomfortable, but the only two they made uncomfortable were her and Edward. Rosalie had accepted me unconditionally. She was my vampire sister, and not just when we were playing twins. She, aside from Edward, was the only one who knew what it really meant to be a vampire. To give into your instincts fully, and not giving a damn about human pretenses.

I suppose sixty years was a drop in the bucket, and didn't matter when you had forever. Or so I would keep telling myself. The only two who cared that I was leaving the Cullen's was Rosalie and Emmett. Esme always held some level of fear of me, but her motherly instinct told her to nurture me. Carlisle only took me in because me and Alice were a packaged deal. When I mentioned I was planning on leaving, after Alice and Edward had left together, he practically threw money at me. To make sure I would be okay, my ass. I knew it was a payoff, and so did everyone else. He had no idea that I didn't need his money. My century with Maria had left me more than well off. The amount of money the Cullen's had before Alice started playing the stock market was nothing to my personal bank account. Rosalie and Emmett had made me promise to keep in touch, but the cellphone I had under the Cullen plan was disconnected the day I left. Even though I had left by my choice, I still felt a sense of abandonment.

Which always brought my thoughts back 'round to Bella. How was she taking her separation from the Cullen's? In six short months, she became such an integral part of the family, and then suddenly we were all gone. I had wanted to confront Edward when he said he would break up with her and we would leave immediately. But everyone's shame was building on top of my own and it was choking me. Then later, when he had come back to what he had assumed was an empty house, he felt relief. Relief, joy, not one hint of sadness coming from the man who was allegedly leaving his mate. Pshaw, his mate. That was something I always questioned, but Alice had told me to leave it alone, things would work out in time. Just like she had when I wanted to confront him on his relief and joy.

I was relieved that I didn't have anyone dictating my actions anymore. I was still on the fence, as far as hunting animals or not goes. I knew they were disgusting, that they didn't sustain us as well as human blood does. But I still wasn't ready for that last leap. I knew when I was sated with my natural food source, it would be easier going out in public. The reason it was so hard to be a vegetarian vampire was because I knew better. I knew how different you felt, how volatile it made you. Sustaining on animals made you a wild card, and me, I was one to begin with. It just wasn't natural to suppress your vampire instincts. I wondered if Bella knew that, if she knew I didn't mean to…

"Are you hot enough to fry eggs on yet?" Peter asked, walking into my sun. I rolled my eyes, not bothering to get up. He took that as an invitation to sit next to me.

"How long have I been out here?" I asked, I remembered counting the first few days, but eventually got lost in my thoughts to the point where time had lost all meaning to me.

"Uh, well. 'Bout that." He snagged a blade of grass and started whistling with it. He continued until I sat up and smacked the straw out of his hands."Jesus, that's annoyin' as shit, Peter." I grumbled.

"Three months."

"What?"

"That's how long you've been out here, Jas." I thought a week, maybe two if I really stretched it. Three months… Jesus.

"Now that you mention it, I'm pretty fuckin' hungry." I lamented. I'm glad we lived miles upon miles from anywhere.

"That's actually why I came out here. Me and Char were going to grab a bite, and wanted to know if you would join us?"

"Yeah, that would be great. I'm going to go snack on some wildlife first, just in case." I rose to my feet and Peter started walking back to the house. The sun was starting to set across the horizon, and I had an over whelming sense of tranquility. It was oozing from my pores and swirling around me in an unseen cloud. I may not have known of any other way when I was with Maria's army, and I might have constantly lived on edge with the Cullen's… But this, I knew I had made the right choice. Fate had led me home, and I could find myself here as easily as I had in my youth. When my life led me to the military, to Maria, Alice, the Cullen's, and now back again. Full circle. I was finding my peace here.

A/N: I'm done setting up the story. So the next chapters should be longer. To clear up any questions you might have, I left the leaving times of Edward/Alice and Jasper vague. When we get to Bella, it will be about a year since the Cullen's left her.


	3. That's What I Like About The South

I always knew I had a little more of Renee in me than I would have liked to admit. That incurable need to roam, the lure to big cities and new experiences. I was very much a product of my parents. I had Charlie's introvert-ism, brown hair, fair skin and overwhelming loyalty to those I loved and Renee's golden brown eyes, eclectic musical tastes and problems with maintaining relationships. Since graduating high school early, much to the protest of them both, I had taken what I had saved up for college working at Newton's and left town. I had convinced Jake to do some final tune ups to my truck, which he reluctantly agreed to do if I wrote him every week. Charlie had made me promise that I would eventually go to college, and I conceded to community college wherever I ended up. Which is why I ended up in Odessa, Texas. It had several redeeming qualities that were irresistible to me. It had the dry heat I missed about Arizona, it didn't rain all the time, and it was sunny over 90 percent of the year. And well, it's where my truck had started it's death rattle.

Getting over Edward wasn't as hard as having to get over the loss of his family. I missed Alice the most of all, but that didn't mean I missed any of them less. At least not any less than I missed Edward, which wasn't that much. I really just wanted to call him a chicken shit. But you know, I got it. I knew the Cullen's prided themselves on how well they maintained the human illusion. They thrive on being able to pretend they were still human. But they weren't, not anymore. They were monsters, they weren't as perfect as they I had thought or how they had led me to believe. I had finally figured that out and came to terms with it. I didn't mind what they were, it had never bothered me that they were bloodthirsty killers. What bothered me was how they all tried so hard to sugar coat and deny who they really were. If they hadn't surrounded their entire undead existence in bullshit and lies maybe things could have been different. But that wasn't the game that the Cullen's had played for decades. I could live with that... They certainty did. Fuck 'em.

I needed to work to live, and that's how I found myself working part time at a 7-11 on the outskirts of town. We mostly just got people passing through, or the rare few inhabitants that lived on out on the Prairie. For the most part it was a really boring and mindless job. Which was perfect because then I would have even more free time. I had gotten called in to work the 6pm-10pm shift, one that I wasn't too particularly enthralled about. Well you know, two hours of darkness didn't really appeal to me. I hadn't seen any vampires in my month and half living in Odessa but I wasn't going to rule them out.

I was just finishing my essay on what could have happened if the south had won, and just how many disadvantages they would have had to overcome to do such, when in walked two incredibly gorgeous men. The taller of the two blondes was wearing a dark gray pinstriped fedora and black wayfarer sunglasses. A loosely fitting unbuttoned gray black and pale blue flannel with a white v-neck shirt on underneath. Blue dreams and black biker boots completed the whole sex on legs look I'm sure he wasn't even going for. Guys like that just didn't have to try. The other blonde had his hair closely cropped unlike the other guy's long and wavy locks. He had on a plain white shirt with faded blue jeans and brown cowboy boots. I never thought I would think cowboys were sexy but then again, I never lived in the south before. It's almost all you see. After them trailed in a blonde woman with long flowing curls all the way down her back. She wore a simple blue dress and faded red cowboy boots and aviator glasses. I wondered abstractly if she was the taller one's sister.

She glided up to the counter and slid a fifty across it. I found it a little odd that she too was wearing sunglasses, seeing as it was nine thirty at night and the sun had set over an hour ago.  
>"Fifty on three." She said quietly, her voice was soft and had a musical note to it. When I reached down to take the fifty our fingers grazed each other and a cold tendril of fear rolled through my entire body. I yanked the fifty away and fumbled with the cash register. She drifted away to the two men, the taller of the two who I had moments ago thought was so handsome was staring at me. I looked away quickly and pretended to read my history book. I leaned on the counter heavily trying to control the tremors of fear that were shaking through my entire body.<p>

Suddenly I felt an overwhelming sense of calm envelope my entire body. "Jasper." I didn't realize I had whispered it until the false calm evaporated and I was left with my own emotions. I looked up and he was staring at me still. It had to be Jasper. They were all staring at me now. I could tell they were talking far too low and fast for me to hear or understand. I couldn't think of what to say, so I just stared. My moment to do so passed quickly because in walked my co-worker Walter to relieve me. While we were counting out the tills and depositing the majority of money into the safe in the office, the shorter blonde man and the girl went out to the pumps. I assumed that the one left alone by the candy aisle was Jasper, but they were still wearing sunglasses so I wasn't sure. He was the only Cullen I hadn't had a lot of interaction with. All I knew for sure was that they were vampires.

"What's with him?" Walt asked. Walt had insisted I call him Walt, because Walter seemed too formal. He was a pretty cool guy considering he was sixty eight and a grandfather. He's the kind of friend I could talk to about almost anything with, even though we didn't have much in common. He kind of was my only friend I've made in the four months since I moved to Odessa.

"I'm pretty sure I went to High School with him." Walt just gave me a skeptical look, while I gathered all of my things to leave. The whole time I walked to the door I'm sure he was glaring at Jasper. Assuming it is Jasper, and I wasn't about to get eaten the second I left Walt's sight. I pushed that fear back. I needed a clear head. I didn't feel like I was in danger, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Even though there was nothing I could do against a vampire. Edward had told me once that wooden stakes didn't work. I pushed the door open halfway and turned back to Jasper, who was having a staring contest with Walt.

"Jasper?" I asked, tilting my head towards the door to indicate I was leaving and wanted him to come with me. His head tore away from Walt's gaze and towards me, before the rest of him met up. It seemed kind of like a choreographed dance move. He quickly strode towards me and opened the door all the way.  
>"After you, Isabella." I could count the amount of times Jasper had spoken to me directly on one hand. Even still adding the amount of times I had heard him speak. I would have remembered his Rhett Butler southern drawl. I could see the corner of his lips curl into a smile when he most likely registered the surprise and attraction I was giving off.<p>

I rolled my eyes at him and went through the door. I noticed his friends sitting patiently on the tailgate of the pick-up. I turned back towards him, but I wasn't really sure what my intention was. Do we go over there? I was kind of intimidated.  
>"Would you like to meet my family?" He asked me quietly. 'Family?' I asked myself, I wondered what happened to the family he had when I last saw him? Instead I replied with,<p>

"Sure." He led me over to the two blondes on the truck, who hopped down when they saw us heading over.  
>"This is my brother Peter Whitlock, and his wife Charlotte. Peter, Char, this is Isabella Swan." They both shook my hands, although Peter lingered a bit longer.<p>

"So this is the reason Alice fucked off! Good going, girl!" He sounded cheerfully optimistic about it, but all I could focus on was that I was the reason Alice left Jasper. I started to feel really horrible in two seconds flat. Guilt and regret rolled through me like tsunami. My heart started racing and I felt so selfish. I never thought about Alice leaving Jasper. I didn't think mates could leave each other. But Edward had said I was his mate, and he had no problem with that. Now I was just getting angry. Jasper took my hand from Peters and squeezed it gently. I turned and looked up at him, still wearing his sunglasses at night like that damn song. I had the sudden urge to look into his eyes, so I reached up with my free hand and and pulled them off, gasping when his crimson eyes appeared from under the shades. My first immediate reaction was more guilt. He slipped up because of me, and Alice left him. So he went back to the more natural Vampire diet. Jasper's hand released my own and went to my cheek, cupping it gently. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. Whereas Edward's topaz eyes were beautiful, Jasper's vermillion orbs were seductive as all hell.

"Isabella, do not feel guilty. I just wasn't meant to be a Cullen." I could see the sincerity in his eyes, and even feel it. But I heard the unspoken words between the lines. He wasn't meant to be an animal drinker. But was that something that I was upset about? 

Nope.

I liked that he didn't hide who he was... Anymore. But was I worried that his all human diet was going to cost me my life? You bet your ass. I wasn't that stupid anymore. Vampires were far more deadly than the Cullen's had led me to believe.  
>"Then why were you?" I reached up and cupped his hand with my own. The warmth emanating from our touching was spreading through my head and making me seem almost giddy. His eyes softened and he stroked my cheek with his thumb, making it spread even further through me.<p>

"This really isn't the place for a conversation like this." He said softly. My gaze moved to his mouth as he formed his sentence. This was crazy. Why was I so attracted to Jasper all of a sudden. Was it the natural vampire charm? This was Edward's brother... Or he was. Calm yourself!

"Okay." I agreed, I really didn't want to hang out in the parking lot of my work anyway, I had to type up my paper for my Monday morning class. Although I was sure I would be thinking about Jasper the whole night anyway. I didn't think he was passing through town, I remembered Alice telling me he was originally from Texas and saying she always tried to get him to toss out his old boots and cowboy hat. I had never seen him wearing them, so I guess she won. Although I do say he looked a lot better now than he did in the buttoned up preppy clothes the Cullen's were fond of.

"Well, I was thinking we could go somewhere and talk... Tonight." Our hands had since dropped from my face and he was holding my hand again. I shifted my backpack awkwardly on my shoulder with my other hand and shrugged.

"Yeah, that would actually be great. I probably would have stayed awake all night wondering about you anyway." I couldn't help but be honest with him. I still felt giddy and light headed from his touches. He looked over at Peter and Charlotte and seemed to be asking them a silent question.  
>"Did you want to go to my place?" I asked, interrupting their silent communication.<p>

"I'd be delighted to, darlin'."


	4. You Don't Know What It's Like To Be Me

I wasn't surprised when Isabella walked me over to the same old red truck she had, had in Forks. I didn't even ask her if I could drive it, even though I always wanted to. That would have required getting way too close to Edward's human pet though. I knew Edward had always demanded to drive because he felt she were incapable of doing so safely. I was however, pretty surprised it was still running after I heard the crazy noises it made during the two failed attempts at turning the engine. When she successfully got it running, she turned to me with a cheeky smile and said,

"Third time's the charm!" She laughed nervously and I couldn't help but to laugh with her. I wonder if she would be opposed to me taking a look at the engine. I didn't want her walking home, especially not at night. Especially not at night in the south. I involuntarily shuddered thinking about the things that could have happened to her if another group of vampires had found her first. She drove through town, obviously concentrating on driving. I tried to feel through her emotions throughout the short car ride and was coming up with nothing but concentration and calm. It filled me with satisfaction. She had never felt completely calm around Edward. Not as she was right now. By the time she parked in front of the shoddy looking apartments, only a few blocks away from the university I had relaxed completely. She was just comfortable to be around. As we got out of her truck I noticed she hadn't bothered to lock it. Walking through the apartment building, I noticed how derelict they were. Obviously she would have been somewhere safer if she could afford it. I bet she had no idea about the Pacific Northwest Trust Carlisle had set up for her. Another payoff for him. Or if she did, she could just be ignoring the hush money like I was. Although it was mighty tempting to spend it on something that would piss Carlisle off. A motorcycle perhaps? A confederate flag? He loathed that I was on the slave owning side of the war.

She stopped in front of a first floor apartment, and I noted the porch light, and the street light outside it were out. Seemed very Isabella to me, from what I always heard Edward bitch about. She put the key in the lock and turned to me and said,

"I know it's not exactly what you're used to, but..." She turned around and unlocked the door and threw it open. She flicked on the lights the further she went in the apartment and disappeared around the corner to what I guessed must be the living room. Shutting the door behind me I followed. Taking off my fedora I looked around me. It reminded me of what little I had seen of her father's place. Simple functioning furniture and things that just seemed uniquely Isabella.

The dog eared book on the stained wood coffee table, the black chucks laying at the end of the couch, which seemed to be doubling as her bed. That ugly purple comforter that I remembered from guarding the house with Alice. She had pulled it off and folded it up at one end, and stacked her pillow on it. I sat down on one end of the couch and set my hat next to the book on the coffee table, with my sunglasses resting on top. She sat down next to me and I could tell she was nervous. Without even using my gift.

"Isabella, you don't have to be nervous. I'm under control now. I promise." And I meant it. Something was urging me to hold her hand, but I resisted. I really didn't think touching her right now would make my point stick.

"Jasper, it's not that at all. We didn't really hang out before...You know." Unfortunately I did know. "And I just don't..." She paused again, struggling to find the exact words to convey how she felt. "I don't think you will eat me. Or drink... Whatever." She sighed heavily and played with a strand of her hair. I pushed a really low amount of confidence at her, hoping it would help. She looked up at me and smiled genuinely. I felt her gratitude cascade over me like a wave.

"Thanks, Jasper." I smiled at her, trying to give her encouragement without my gift. She looked away again, and continued playing with her hair with one hand. "You have red eyes now." She paused and I thought she wanted me to say something, but by the time I had started to say something she continued. "So you should be in way more control than you used to be right?" This time she looked at me and I could tell she wanted me to reply.

"Yes, I am." Acting purely on impulse and ignoring my brain telling me not to do it, I grasped her hand in mine, brought it to my lips and kissed it. Exactly as I would have done to a beautiful young woman back when... Of course not without gloves on, but times have changed. She blushed prettily, and pulled her hand away. Her heart racing. I could tell it wasn't from fear. Didn't that scoundrel Edward ever do romantic gestures?

"Because you aren't having to resist human blood, right?" I nodded when she looked up at me, still blushing. "That's why most of the Cullens had problems. They never wanted to feed of of humans, their natural food source. So they struggled. But you, you weren't used to pretending or abstaining like they were, so you had the most difficulty." To say I was slightly shocked at the depths of her insight would be putting it pretty fucking lightly. I must have had my amazement on my face, or projecting my surprise and happiness at her perception of who I was when I was with the Cullens, because next she said,

"I had a lot of time to think about this. And it's what made the most sense to me. I can't blame you for tying to take a bite out of me. Plus there's the whole empathy thing. Alice told me once that you absorb all of the feelings around you, especially when they are strong. You didn't have just your own thirst to deal with." She absentmindedly brushed her fingers against the scar that, that miscreant James left marring her skin. I still regret Alice distracting me enough that I let my guard down and a human waltz away from me. Me, The Major of the Southern Wars. That also, would have never happened if I hadn't been denying my natural diet to keep Alice happy.

"Don't feel guilty" She took my hand in hers this time, and I looked into her depth-less brown eyes and saw nothing but compassion, acceptance and a little bit of joy which quickly evaporated. The strange feeling I got the past few times I touched her was intensified by looking into her eyes. I felt like I could see my memories swirling in the hazel orbs. Long forgotten feelings... I hadn't the willpower to look away. "I told you, I don't blame you. What I do blame Is everyone else trying so hard to pretend they weren't anything but what they really were... You know, blood thirsty killers." She had this fire burning behind her eyes, it was the most expressive I had seen her since Phoenix, and that was just her trying to protect a bunch of vampires from one lone tracker. The vibrancy of her soul that had shunned Edward as her mate and made him fear her. A modern woman would have never suited him. Edward's old fashioned views had been the catalyst for the end of Edward and Isabella. His Victorian up bringing was a crutch, I was older than him by a good 70 years and even I had been able to adapt to the changing trends. They seemed to pass to quickly for him to grasp onto.

"What has you thinking so intently, Jasper?" She smiled, her eyes shining with amusement. I realized then that I had gone quiet still. She had never seen the Cullens act naturally, so it probably tuned her into the fact that I wasn't anything like them.

"Edward was a dipshit." I said without even thinking it through. I would have instantly regretted voicing that aloud, if she hadn't burst into giggles and mirth. Soon I was laughing with her, my gift absorbing her glee and bouncing it back at her. Soon she was breathless, smiling at me with her eyes radiant.

"They never swore around me, Edward had thought..." She paused scrunching up her nose. Her voice lowered and she turned her nose up at me, "It's very unbecoming to hear a beautiful young lady with profanities spewing out of her mouth." She imitated Edward awfully, but it got us laughing all over again.

"Like I had said, I was never meant to be a Cullen. I was born a Whitlock and I intend to stay that way."

"Was that your human name?" She sat up on her knees and leaned in expectantly. I suppose now was as good of a time than any to unload my history on her. I suspected that once I finished she would want to high tail it back to Forks. To the north, where it was much safer for humans. I laid on the accent thick, to emphasize just how old I was.

"Yes Ma'am. I was born Ambrose Jasper Whitlock." I paused waiting for the peals of laughter I got when I told Alice my full true name. I had never told anyone else. Of course, Edward knew, he couldn't keep himself out of my mind. Legally of course, I was just plain ole' Jasper Whitlock. Bless my Momma, but Ambrose was just not a real manly name to have. Instead of laughing she merely raised an eyebrow.

"That accent can't be for real."

That's what she chose to focus on?

"Yes ma'am." I drawled. She giggled a little bit. Fluttering her eyelashes at me.

"I always did love Rhett Butler."

"Who is Rhett Butler?" I couldn't help but feeling a slight twinge of jealousy.

"From Gone With The Wind?"

"Is that a band?" I asked stupidly, and she crowed loudly. I had never felt my age more than in this moment.

"It's a movie. I can't believe Alice never made you watch it or have a Gone With The Wind themed wedding." I could tell she felt a little bad at her reaction, but she still thought it was amusing. "Never mind, I'll make you watch it some time." I had to smile at that. She wanted to see me again. Probably not after I tell her my history though.

"So you're obviously from the south. Where were you born? What's your vampire story?" Well, here goes nothing...

"I was born on March Twenty First, 1844. In Houston, Texas." She gave my hand a gentle squeeze to let me know she was listening, so I continued. "I don't remember much about the time I was human, just flashes of things from time to time. The smell of my Mama baking bread, shirking my chores to go swimming in the swimming hole. The feeling of elation and pride I felt at becoming the youngest major in the confederate army. I joined up when I was fifteen. They assumed I was 17 when I joined, but I had lied about my age. My Mama would've had my Daddy whoop me with a switch if she knew I intended on joining and locked me in the barn besides." I smiled to myself remembering the silhouette of her face. I was definitely a Mama's boy, and proud of it. I wish I could just remember her face.  
>"I had sisters, and boy were they ever an annoyance to me. I loved them though. I always had to baby sit them when I'd rather be doing anything else. Two were younger than me, and one was older... I remember her dying in child birth when I was away." Isabella squeezed my hand again, with sad eyes and a tiny but encouraging smile.<p>

"Did Edward ever tell you how I was turned?" I asked, sneaking another kiss from the back of her hand. I knew that I shouldn't but touching her skin with my lips was becoming an addiction.

"No, he only told me to be careful around you. That you were far more dangerous than you appeared. He said he saw things in your head that would give him nightmares if he were human and capable of dreams." She gave me an apologetic smile. I rolled my eyes. That seemed so typical of Edward. Instead of sharing the truth with her and letting her make her own decision he took all options away from her.

"He was right. I am more dangerous than I look. To humans and vampires alike. To humans I look like some rebellious young man. To vampires I look like a trained killer. If you're a vampire in this day and age and you haven't heard of me by my reputation, then looking at me would let you know who exactly you were dealing with." I pushed up the sleeve of my shirt with the hand that wasn't currently touching Isabella. I couldn't bring myself to give up the contact. She was confused as to what I was doing, so I grasped her hand that had her metallic scar on the wrist and put it against my arm scar up. Isabella got it almost immediately, and let go of both of my hands to hold my arm close to her face to examine it more intently. Her initial shock left as quickly as it came. Pity and sadness consumed her and she couldn't tear her sad eyes away from my arm. Two emotions I refused to have her feel towards me. I pulled my arm away quickly and pushed the sleeve back down.

"Jasper, I had no idea." She started but I interrupted her before she could go on, as misinformed as she was.

"Every single one of these scars I earned, Isabella." She felt surprise and disbelief. Her eyes widening and I could see the cogs whirring in her brain, trying to come up with an explanation. Good, that was much better than what she felt for me a moment ago.

"I made and destroyed thousands of newborn vampires in the first seventy five years I was a vampire." I wanted to give her a moment to digest what I was telling her, but I wanted to try out the band aid effect. "I was changed when I was nineteen, by the most sadistic woman I had ever met. Maria. She lusted for power more than she could lust for any man. Her mate had been killed I later discovered. Not too long before she had found me and changed me. All that consumed her was revenge for her mate and gaining power over all of the southern territory." I stopped there because I could feel her bewilderment and see the questions she was dying to ask on her face.

"Power for what? I thought the Volturi had been in charge for thousands of years."

"Feeding territory." I replied simply.

"Oh."

…

"Ooohh!"

"Why do you need feeding territory?" I had never been asked that before. Then again everyone I associated with were vampires.

"Well, as you know our only rule is exposure. To keep our secret from humans. To do that, each coven establishes their own territory. Kind of like how cats mark their territory. In order to control the..." I tried to think of a better way to say we typically think of humans as cattle. "Amount of deaths in an area." Much better than population control. I was surprised at my ability to be tactful.

"So no one would think there was a serial killer or something, right? Investigations would be bad." She was pretty insightful.

"Yeah, or too many deaths at once would be too suspicious. That's why there's things like the Great Chicago Fire. To cover up what vampires have done. So, to get territory we had to kill the inhabiting vampires and mark it. To kill the inhabiting vampires we had to make newborns, to do that we had to turn humans. We would kill an entire village or take whoever was foolish enough to wander around at night. Which is exactly how I had been changed."

"So if you weren't in the wrong place t the wrong time you would be dead right now." She asked.

"Really dead." I agreed with her. I still struggled with if that would have been a better alternative.

"So you got all these scars from fighting in the war? From other vampires?"

"Either fighting other covens, or making our own newborn army. When you make a newborn vampire, the first year of their new life is filled with uncontrollable blood lust. With that blood lust also comes incredible brute strength and speed. If you are lucky enough to be born with a gift, it's the most unstable. It's also when we are the most lost to our baser instincts." I stopped there, but only because Isabella yawned rather loudly and I could feel her getting drowsy. She felt embarrassed at yawning in the middle of my story,

"Sorry, it's not you. I'm just tired."

"No, I'm sorry Isabella. I should have realized it was late for you." She smiled.

"It's okay. I liked hearing about your past." She smiled at me as she got up and stretched. I gave her a wary grin back,

"It's not even the worst of it." I wasn't going to tell her the worst of it, not unless she herself were a vampire. She doesn't need those nightmares.

"In one night you've already told me more than Edward told me about anything ever. Oh wow, it's two am! I'm glad I don't have to do shit tomorrow." I chuckled at her swear but still felt awful for depriving her of sleep. I couldn't help it though, I had really enjoyed being around her. She buzzed with such pure emotions. It was like therapy.

"Would you like to talk more tomorrow? It could be about anything. Or maybe we could watch that movie you mentioned." I had been curious about what she meant and why she thought Alice would have wanted a wedding like that. Never mind that Alice and I were never married. After asking I could feel her excitement at the proposition and felt joy rush through my veins. She wanted to see me again.

"Yeah! You have no idea how boring it is out here by myself. The past four months have been a total drag. At least I have internet." I stood up to give her the space she needed to set up her bed on the couch. I'm sure it was anything but uncomfortable but I wouldn't be the one to bring it up and make her feel bad about her money situation.

"I've only been here about three months myself." I told her, amazed we hadn't run into each other before now. Then again, I had spent a few months laying out in the middle of the desert imitating a rock.

"Really? We will have a lot of things to talk about tomorrow then." Smacking me with her pillow she laughed as I looked at her incredulously. "Now get out! I need my human moments and my beauty sleep." I laughed with her and was all to happy to oblige, especially since I knew I would be seeing her tomorrow.


	5. None of us are Free

A/N: I had some stuff I wanted to change around in this chapter.

None of us are Free

The whole run home through the city and then the plains of Texas I was exhilarated. It had been a long, long time since I had been able to share myself with anyone. Alice came already knowing what she cared to know, carefully avoiding all the rest. Carlisle had heard of my reputation and preferred if I didn't pervert his family with my tainted past. Edward learned to stay out of my head fairly quickly. When it came to him reading my mind, Rosalie had been interested the second she had seen what Maria looked like and heard tidbits of what our conversation when she came to try to lure me back. Carlisle had forbidden me from saying a word about my time before Alice to anyone in the family. He liked his little pretend human family. He didn't want them exposed to the true vampire nature.

I was on my own now, with Peter and Charlotte. They already knew all there could be to know about me. We had an unshakable, unbreakable bond. It wasn't just because I was their Sire, although that helped. We had been through one of the worst wars Vampires had ever fought against one another. The most horrific torture had been carried out by me. To them, and others just like them. Sure I could claim they were just orders and that I was following them. I had always enjoyed the destruction though. I was born and reborn for it. To do anything but admit it, would be lying. I did not lie if I could avoid it. Being honest was the best thing in all situations. Maybe it was my southern upbringing, or it was dealing with my gift. Feeling constant dishonesty.

Arriving back at Peter and Char's adobe house, I didn't feel them inside. I was sure they were out enjoying the night and their time away from my prying eyes and ears. I had to admit though, two weeks into having an all human diet again, I was doing quite well with controlling my blood lust. I drank when I wanted to and until I was fully satisfied. No more constant dry burn in the back of my throat. Making me constantly on edge and irritable. I fed three times in two weeks on humans. On animals I would have to twelve times at least. No added pressure of being around humans, no undue strain on my gift reigning in the Cullen's blood lust and emotional disputes. I had to wonder how many times Edward and Esme had slipped without me absorbing their lust for human blood.

Isabella hadn't corrected me when I continuously used her full first name. I knew she preferred Bella. I wasn't sure what I was trying to prove though, that I could call her Isabella without her correcting me or that it was too personal for me to call her Bella without her asking me to. It would make it all too real. I would never be a Cullen again. It still felt like a betrayal. They had abandoned her when they should have killed her, or brought her over. I couldn't help but be happy that despite my protests she remained alive. I had a feeling she would be invaluable. Especially if she eventually did become a vampire. Which was safer for all of us in the end.

Peter and Charlotte made it back home just as I finished my circuit of thought. I had settled in the brown leather couch that took up half of the small living room. It reminded me of a memory I had once from my human life. Every time I tried to grasp it and make it tangible in my mind it would slip away. Something about the smell of the leather...

"How was your evening with Edward's human?" I narrowed my eyes at Peter.

"He has no claim over her." I replied icily. Peter and Char shared a look.

"You know, we didn't know who she was when we brought you there Jas." Charlotte said quietly, sitting down next to me on the sofa. I noticed Peter stayed standing at her end of the couch. Something about her emotions seemed off, it didn't match with what she had said. I filtered through them quickly to see what was different. Instead of taking in only what she was feeling at that exact moment. I felt her disappointment, sadness, hope, the overlying worry. I mentally pushed them all aside to get to her true emotions. Excitement, love, smugness, and slight fear aimed at me.

"Why are you afraid of me, Char?" I asked, feeling remorse for all of the things I had put Charlotte and Peter through in the past. The guilt I always had hidden away crashed it's way to the surface. She was clearly taken aback, thinking she had hidden her feelings from me. You could never hide them from me. Not fully. It just took more time than I usually cared to take. Her next words came out fast and they blended from one to another in her rush to soothe my remorse. The remorse and guilt I couldn't stop myself from projecting when I was feeling terrible.

"I'm not afraid of you, Jasper. I'm afraid for you." She took my hand gently from my lap and brushed the back of it with her own, before grabbing both of my hands in her own and grasping them tightly. Looking at me directly in the eyes, sending me all of her affection, love, and pride for me. She was a great broadcaster when we were touching. It lifted some of the darkness surrounding my heart.

"Afraid for me? Why would anyone be anything other than afraid of me?" I had said it aloud but only intended to think it. I wasn't sure if I wanted the answer. I had no idea if she or Peter replied to me right away. I went on an inner tangent to think back through the last hundred and sixty years, trying to think about when someone had been afraid for me. Isabella's face came to the forefront of my mind immediately. I pushed it away. Alice had always been afraid that she would have to leave the Cullen's when I fucked up. She cared more about herself in that respect. Maria was never afraid for me, but there was a healthy amount of fear of me. What I could do to her, do to her plans. Turns out that fear was justified. I smiled a little at that. Fuck her.

My Mama. She had been the last person to be afraid for me. She worried about me joining a war in which our side had seen nothing but losses. We didn't even own slaves. We did our own work and hired whoever would do the job right to help us out on occasion. Isabella's face assaulted my mind again, when she had almost worried her lip to the point of bleeding. Over a lone vampire threatening a coven of seven. I was apart of the bigger picture, but she hadn't wanted anyone to get hurt because of her.

"Is Maria coming for me?" It was the only thing I had been able to think of that would have anyone who cared about me fearing for me instead of fearing me. I could take care of almost any other threat that arose. I would need help with Maria, however. I was woefully out of practice when it came to terrorizing people. Peter just snorted.

"Don't you think that would have been the first thing to come out of our mouths, Major?" I sighed heavily.

"Well, what is it then?" I asked impatiently, looking from one set of crimson eyes to another. Charlotte was avoiding eye contact by playing with the hem of her t-shirt. Peter just rolled his eyes at me and pointed at Charlotte,

"She has a gift that would have made her invaluable to Maria." He says after a few minutes of my impatient foot tapping. I couldn't even begin to speculate what her gift could be. Luckily I didn't have long to wait.

"I can see the ties between mates." Charlotte said quietly. I instantly saw why Maria would have wanted her. She drilled it into us that having a mate was a weakness we couldn't afford. We were instructed to kill both sides of a mated pair immediately, before they could realize what they had lost and destroy us with their uncontrolled rage. A mate who lost half of their soul would stop at nothing but death to avenge them.

"So if Maria isn't coming, and Char has a gift you have kept from me..." Before they could protest I continued, "for her own safety. Which I completely understand. Then what has you guys all atwitter." They shared a guilty look and I knew there was something that I was missing. My big tip off was that Peter didn't laugh at my use of the word 'atwitter'. The Volturi didn't even know I was alive or they would have been after me long ago. Nothing to do with Maria, all to do with Charlotte's gift.

Suddenly a light bulb went off in the recesses of my mind. As understanding flirted across my face, I felt Charlotte tense beside me.

"Is that why you always hated Alice? Because she told me she was my mate when she clearly wasn't?" Peter just erupted into boisterous laughter.

"Fuck, Major. You are dense." He managed to get out between his obnoxious guffaws. I swear him and Emmett would be best friends if they were ever allowed to meet. Charlotte huffed impatiently.

"Do I have to do everything?" She sighed. "So much for tact." I just smiled at her because Peter's mirth was infectious. "The reason we took you to that Gas Station is because I saw Isabella's aura, for lack of a better word for it. Human aura's usually aren't so well defined or bright. I think it's because she had already met her vampire mate." I glared at Charlotte.

"Edward wasn't her mate. I could feel his emotions towards her and he loved the idea of her. He didn't actually love Isabella herself." Peter had quieted down during Char's explanation on her gift and how it worked. However now he started up all over again.

"Fuck. You are so daft!" He was practically giggling gleefully. I glared at him while Charlotte scowled at him. He sobered up pretty quickly and said,

"You are pretty slow when it comes to matters of the heart, Major. Isabella is your mate. I'm surprised you could stand leaving her the first time, let alone at all."

"What? You two are fucking crazy. There is absolutely no fucking way." I stood abruptly and started pacing the room. My mind racing a mile a minute. Humans being a vampire's mate was extremely rare. Practically unheard of. When it did happen they were brought over immediately. The idea that a mate could die at any moment was terrifying to a vampire. No one knew if you only got that one for an eternity or if there was another chance. But no one was willing to be the guinea pig and take such risk. Could I stand to be away from Isabella?

I sure had no problem with it so far, Sure I wanted to see her more than I did Alice, but that's because I knew we weren't mates. It was just easier to say we were. Especially after I found out that what I felt for Alice and she felt for me was nothing like what the Cullen's felt for their mates. I was looking forward to seeing Isabella tomorrow.

"What is she doing right now?" Peter asked, I didn't even have to think about it, I replied automatically.

"She's asleep." He quickly shot out another question.

"How do you know she's asleep."

"What the fuck do you mean, how do I know? She said she was going to bed when I left." Peter was really starting to get on my damn nerves.

"But you know she's in bed sleeping at this exact moment in time. You don't have to wonder if she was just trying to get rid of you and invite her boyfriend over for a little..." I shut him up with growl low in my throat. I surprised even myself with the level of jealousy that surged through my veins.

"Don't like the idea of her having sex with anyone? What if she already lost her virginity to some frat boy?" I roared and flew at him, upturning the couch and slamming him into the wall. The brick work spider webbing under the force of his head hitting it.

"Don't fucking say that about her!" I growled menacingly. He just grinned at me, sending wave after wave of satisfaction, smugness, joy, gratification and amusement. I let him go, not sure what I was more angry at. Myself, him, or Edward.

"So what are you going to do?" Charlotte asked as she righted the couch and tidied up the things that got knocked over. Glaring at Peter all the while. She hated it when he messed with me. It wasn't because she didn't like us messing up her house like Esme. It was because she didn't want the Major aiming his anger at her mate. She didn't blame me, she always blamed Peter for knowing better but pissing me off anyway. I gave her an apologetic smile once I finally calmed myself down. She just rolled her eyes at Peter's direction and I knew all was forgiven.

"Nothing. I can't do anything. It's obviously not even effecting either of us adversely." It sounded lame even to my own ears. "Besides, Edward made his claim on her. Him leaving Isabella didn't revoke it." I loved how earlier I was saying he had no claim, and now it seemed like a legitimate excuse. I'm a moron.

Yeah, and just who do you think would win in a fight over YOUR mate?" Peter asked, putting special emphasis on the 'your mate'. He plopped down on the couch next to Char.

"Edward wouldn't want to fight, he would bitch out and rat me out to the Volturi." We were all quiet for awhile after that. Staying under the Volturi's radar and certainty out of their spotlight was one of my main priorities. If they thought that the God of War was dead the world would remain a safer place. Especially if they found out that I apparently had a mate. A human mate. I would have to ask if she still wanted to be changed as soon as it were possible to do so. The possibility of there being a war when Edward finds out that I 'stole' his mate was quite high. He was a vindictive little shit. I wouldn't put it past him to tell the Volturi everything he had gleamed from my mind over the years.

"Then we enlist Alice's help to stop him from doing it." Peter said finally. He practically had to spit out that sentence. He hated asking for help and even more so to ask for Alice's help. They never got along, she looked down on him and Char.

"He knows how to avoid her visions. She wouldn't want to help us break apart her perfect little family either. Especially if we told her what it was about. She'd tell Edward first, not to mention she probably saw all of this anyway." I sighed, shit was getting way more complicated than it should be.

"Why can't this shit ever be easy?" Peter said voicing my own thoughts.

"Because it wouldn't be worth it, if it were all easy." I replied thoughtfully.


End file.
